fly-tipping

Tottenham Hotspur have signalled their intention to finally rid Emmanuel Adebayor from their wage bill by fly-tipping him outside their White Hart Lane ground, with a sign around his neck saying: ‘Please Feel Free To Take’.

As well as the Togo striker, Spurs have also discarded a set of chairs from the Bill Nicholson suite, a twenty year old Gateway PC, and all their Amstrad electronics as the club continue to clear out their current home in the build up to their new stadium opening in 2018.

A passer-by on Tottenham High Road said: ‘It’s sad to see, really. One minute you’re the flavour of the month, everyone wants you, then – poof! It’s all over, and you’ve been put on the pavement for someone else to take away. And to think that Gateway were huge in the 1990s’.

Adebayor himself seemed rather non-plussed about the situation, preferring instead to upload videos onto Instagram showing him doing keepy-uppies with an old Mercury mobile phone.