rodgers sack

Brendan Rodgers has said that he is running out of ideas to get himself fired as manager of Liverpool, as his side continued their underwhelming start to the season with an unconvincing 3-2 win at home to relegation certainties Aston Villa.

The result, which Rodgers had expected the Reds to bottle, saw Liverpool record their first win in seven games, and left him convinced that he is now too good to manage a team that seems destined for another season of mid-table mediocrity.

Speaking after the game, the 42-year-old said: ‘I am the same guy who nearly won us the league, but better. It’s the players that are shit. It’s obvious, innit?

‘Basically, I’m pretty much done here, and now I’m just waiting for Real Madrid or Manchester City to get on the blower. So if I can get myself sacked, I get a huge payout and they don’t have to pay Liverpool compensation’, he added, before saying, ‘You know what? Fuck Liverpool. Fuck the fans’.

Rodgers will be hoping that Liverpool can return to losing ways when they take on rivals Everton in the Merseyside Derby next weekend, especially as both Carlo Ancelotti and Jürgen Klopp have started sending trinkets to chairman Tom Werner.