Charlton Athletic are to hold a special ‘Retro Saturday’ that will feature the Addicks being evicted from their Valley home

The European Championships in France have inspired teenagers across the United Kingdom to almost completely stay indoors this summer and play even more FIFA 16.

A London man is struggling to find either the right time or the courage to admit to his wife that a major football tournament is taking place this summer.

Alberto Moreno’s frustrating season came to an undignified end over the weekend after the Liverpool full back found himself hopelessly out of position while trying to deposit a cheque at a Merseyside bank.

Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley is confident that manager Rafael Benítez will extend his stay at Newcaslte United after offering him £50.00 worth of Sports Direct shop credit.

Incredulity spread through Old Trafford on the final day of the season, after a fake bomb left behind during a terrorist training exercise caused the Red Devils’ home game against AFC Bournemouth to be abandoned.

Plans are afoot to rename the Championship “The Ipswich Town Level League” as a tribute to Ipswich’s remarkable achievement of not getting relegated or promoted in fifteen seasons.

London Underground’s Victoria Line ground to a halt yesterday after a man wearing a Tottenham Hotspur shirt was tragically struck by an oncoming train after ignoring notices to mind the gap at Seven Sisters station.

Tottenham Hotspur supporter Thomas Evans believes he must have been involved in an act of pure evil in a previous life that is causing him such misery in supporting the North London side.

Following Newcastle’s relegation from the Premier League, club owner Mike Ashley has confirmed that the club will hold a massive closing down sale at the end of the season, with stunning reductions for such items as Andros Townsend and Moussa Sissoko.

Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger has spoken of his hope for Danny Welbeck’s return from injury in time for the Gunners’ title collapse next season.

Serial adulterer and all-round sex pest John Terry has spoken of his wishes to cuckold the players of whichever team he ends up playing for next season.