Watford

Newly-promoted Watford are facing a daunting opening day trip to Real Oviedo, after the fixture computer at Premier League H.Q. went into meltdown this morning.

The Vicarage Road side will now have to travel 1,000 miles on the first Saturday of the new season, a situation described as ‘hardly ideal’ by manager Quique Flores.

He said: ‘Whoever we faced, we knew it would be difficult. But to have to travel to a foreign country, to play a side that’s not even in the same league as us… we’ll try our best, and hopefully come away with a point’.

Other fixtures thrown up by the malfunctioning computer includes Aston Villa hosting Dundee United, Manchester City crossing codes to take on Wasps, and Leicester City facing the Herculean task of travelling back in time to 1867 to play I Zingari’s Second XI.