new tottenham stadium

Tottenham Hotspur chairman Daniel Levy is prepared to offer potential suitors a free handjob as a ‘sweetener’ in any potential naming rights deal for the club’s new stadium, it has been revealed.

The arena, to be built next to Tottenham’s current home White Hart Lane, is expected to be completed by 2018, and although a bank loan in the region of £350 million has already been arranged, a large, long-running naming rights sponsorship is considered vital in securing the North London club’s long-term future.

A source close to Levy said: ‘Daniel is prepared to go to great lengths to get the naming rights deal done. He’s not averse to meeting up with an interested party in a hotel room, or back alley, if it means the club gets, say, £200 million spread over ten years. He’d even put on nail polish, if it would help’.

When asked if it was possible that Head Coach Mauricio Pochettino could get involved in a possible ménage à trois, the source replied: ‘That is unlikely, as it is very doubtful that he will be here by the time any such arrangements take place. Which isn’t to say his successor, or his successor’s successor, couldn’t lend a, shall we say, helping hand’.