Fresh Injury Blow For Liverpool After Sturridge Diagnosed With Broken Heart

Liverpool’s hopes of securing European football next season have thrown into doubt after striker Daniel Sturridge was diagnosed this morning with a broken heart, with medics speaking pessimistically of his chances of recovery.

The England international has become a byword for flakiness over the past few seasons, with even the slightest knock resulting in him spending an inordinate amount of time on the physiotherapist’s table.

Manager Jürgen Klopp told reporters: ‘It is sad to see an athlete like this. Studge is just walking about looking very sorry for himself, and hasn’t eaten for a week now.

‘It’s like he’s just been dumped by his girlfriend, or been told that he can’t actually dance. I don’t think he’ll be playing at the weekend’.

The 26-year-old, who has spent most of the week picking petals off daisies that are growing around the club’s Melwood training ground, said: ‘I just want to play, honest I do, but every time I get a scratch my whole body freezes up and I’m unable to do anything. If I’m not 100%, I can’t take the risk’.

‘This is what happens when your role model is Robin van Persie’, said an unsympathetic Jordan Henderson. ‘I took him scrumping last week to cheer him up, but you could tell his heart wasn’t in it. He didn’t even run when the farmer started taking shots at us. It’s pathetic really’.

Liverpool haven’t completely ruled out hope of Sturridge taking part in at least the second half of their next match, a trip to strugglers Aston Villa on February 14.