The barely recognisable ghost of legendary Arsenal manager Bertie Mee has thrown his none too considerable weight behind the campaign to remove Arsène Wenger from the Emirates Stadium hot seat, it has emerged today.
The long-deceased Mee, who lead the Gunners to their first League and Cup double in 1971, has said that he decided to come back from the dead because he is saddened to see the club’s continued fall from grace, the latest being an ignoble home defeat to Watford in the FA Cup.
Appearing in the Arsenal Tavern after the match to a handful of drunk supporters, Mee said: ‘Wooo, I am the departed spirit of Bertie Mee, when I was alive I literally bled red, erm, so to speak, and I for one am sick of how this manager is turning this club into a laughing stock. Wooo’.
The apparition continued: ‘We were once feared throughout the land, wooo, with our respected Back Four, coupled with an ability to launch lightning fast counter attacks on the break, and trophies galore did come our way. But now we have gone fourteen years without winning the league, and beating Watford at home in the Cup is the least we should be doing. Wooo’.
Season Ticket holder Anand Patel, who was drinking in the pub when Mee’s ethereal spirit appeared before him, said: ‘I was on to my fifth Guinness at that point, but my mate saw him too, so I know I wasn’t seeing things. To be honest, it was only scary at first, because then he started moaning about how much Alex Iwobi’s probably earning, and then he tried in vain to pick up a peanut, which was quite sad really, and going ‘Wooo’ a lot, and we just ignored him after that’.
Arsenal currently lie third in the league, eleven points behind leaders Leicester City, but with a game in hand with nine matches left to play.