greek football

Representatives from Greece’s leading clubs have arrived in Brussels to ask permission to use a Medieval form of bartering for their transfers, as Greek banks continue to be closed to the public.

Under the new system, clubs would be able to offer livestock, food and clothing, amongst other items, in exchange for players.

Olympiacos chairman Evangelos Marinakis, issuing a rare joint statement with fierce rivals Panathinaikos, said: ‘As a country, we are truly fucked. That’s not in any doubt. However, in these straightened times, it is more important than ever that football in Greece continues as before. Therefore, in lieu of currency, we are proposing a simple feudal bartering system that will enable us to prepare for the new Superleague season’.

Iraklis 1908 Thessaloniki chairman Spyros Papathanasakis said: ‘It is a straightforward principle. If, for example, we want to sign, say, Soritis Ninis, we would offer Panathinaikos three sheep, two goats, some linen, and possibly one of my daughters. Whereas if we were interested in a reserve player, perhaps some assorted vegetables would suffice’.

The vote is expected to take place tomorrow, provided the Greek contingent can convince the taxi driver taking them from the hotel to accept three pounds of halloumi as payment.