Football Hipster

Self-confessed football hipster Clarence Odenkirk’s presentation of his complete collection of Panini Football albums from the 1980s to Gillian Andrews resulted in ‘mild, healf-hearted fumbling’, he reported today.

The hipster, who wore a 1984 Milan shirt emblazoned with ‘Pooh’, was keen on pressing home his cool credentials in the hope of getting a quick grope out of his date.

Odenkirk said: ‘I don’t even know how I got onto showing her the collection. It might have been something of a Hail Mary, as she didn’t seem overly impressed with my knowledge of the Oberliga Baden-Württemberg, which is immense by the way’.

Andrews, who was seen rushing away from Odenkirk’s Whitechapel studio flat looking slightly ashamed, said: ‘I don’t know what got into me. I don’t even like football. I must have felt sorry for him. Yes, that’s it, that works. God, this is so embarrassing’.

Odenkirk was said to be pleased with how the evening went, although he was disappointed that he didn’t get the chance to talk about what it is that makes the rivalry between Zamalek and Al Ahly so fascinating.