Jose Mourinho CV

José Mourinho has decided to update his Curriculum Vitae after Chelsea posted a Twitter message giving the Portuguese manager a vote of confidence.

In addition, the 52-year-old has also decided to commence the discrete removal of certain mugs and assorted stationary from his Stamford Bridge office, in anticipation of owner Roman Abramovich deciding to wield his oft-used managerial axe.

A source said: ‘José was in an upbeat, defiant mood when he turned up for training this morning. However, as soon as that tweet popped up, he went up to his office armed with his laptop, a thesaurus, and about fifty blank pages of A4 paper’.

Another source close to Mourinho said: ‘Obviously, he was trying to keep a brave face, but he kept muttering something about a failed Championship Manager 3 save game, and never being caught short again’.

As if to prove their point, the source then produced a copy of Mourinho’s recent internet history, which included ESPN, Sky Go, and both Reed and Jobsite searches for positions within football administration.

It is thought that one further poor result, following on from Chelsea’s disastrous start to the new season, could spell the end for the club’s greatest ever manager.