chappelle's show

Loretta Lynch, the US prosecutor who in May sent FIFA into chaos, has revealed that the latest findings against the governing body suggest that president Sepp Blatter is really into watching YouTube clips of stand up comedian Dave Chappelle’s eponymously-titled sketch show.

In her first public appearance since going public with details of the FBI’s prosecution attempts at the start of the summer, Lynch has shown that Blatter, who wasn’t amongst the seven FIFA officials arrested at the time, is an habitual downloader of the critically acclaimed Comedy Central show that ran for three seasons from 2003 to 2006.

Speaking in Zurich, the US attorney general said: ‘We are continuing to investigate all the allegations of racketeering, wire fraud and money laundering conspiracies spanning two decades, and have so far sifted through over 11 terabytes of information. However, even at this relatively early stage, it is clear that Mr. Blatter enjoyed Dave Chappelle’s ‘I’m rich, bitch’ skit about slavery reparations, and was particularly fond of Charlie Murphy’s Hollywood reminiscences – especially the Rick James sketch, which we believe he watched on his own and then showed to both Jack Warner and Chuck Blazer.

‘So we can also add video piracy to his list of crimes, which is pretty nice’, she added.

Chappelle himself has moved quickly to distance himself from the scandal, having posted a meme on Facebook of Blatter saying: ‘I’m fucked, bitch!’

The investigation into racketeering within the organisation continues, with more arrests expected in the coming months.