Tintin Signs For Manchester City

Manchester City, desperate not to miss out on the latest fad currently sweeping football, have confirmed that they have moved to sign fictional Belgian detective Tintin in an attempt to finally solve their creative woes.

Belgian football has been on a high since the nation qualified for the 2014 World Cup, where a squad containing players such as Eden Hazard and Vincent Kompany were tipped as dark horses to win the competition by many pundits, and made it to the Quarter Finals before they were defeated by eventual runners-up Argentina.

Since then, the game has gone crazy for all things Belgian, with Hazard recently being voted PFA Players’ Player of the Year for his outstanding Chelsea performances in 2014-15 and striker Christian Benteke providing the goals that kept Aston Villa in the Premier League. However, these acts pale into insignificance in comparison to City’s audacious swoop for cartoonist Hergé’s much loved creation.

The club’s Director of Football Txiki Begiristain said: ‘We’re delighted to have signed someone with the skill and dedication to his craft like Tintin. People may be worried that he’s nearly ninety, and not a real person, but we have no doubt that he’s going to prove a valuable and indispensable member of our football club’.

Lifelong City supporter Colin Dobson, who was visiting the Etihad Stadium, said: ‘Since Sheikh Mansour bought the club, we’ve all felt like anything’s possible. But, to be honest, I’m not completely sold on this, though if we get The Blue Lotus Tintin, as opposed to Tintin in the Congo, I’ll be happy’.