José Mourinho has revealed that he will only speak to the media via a sock puppet following Chelsea’s 1-0 defeat to AFC Bournemouth, a result that leaves the west Londoners languishing in fourteenth place in the Premier League table.
With little sign of Chelsea’s malaise coming to an end any time soon, Mourinho is determined to deflect attention away from his side’s deficiencies by only communicating via the white tube sock, which will be named later this week via an online poll open to True Blue Junior members.
Adopting a high-pitched voice, and trying his best to keep his lips from moving, Mourinho – through the puppet – said: ‘I have nothing to say at this time about the result, or the poor start to the season. It’s not as if we planned to lose eight times in our first fifteen games. However, I am confident that together we can come through this’.
When asked by one journalist if he could possibly speak for himself, Mourinho stared into space, whilst the puppet said: ‘Mr. Mourinho has nothing to say, but I for one congratulate Stoke on their success and wish them luck for the rest of the season. Meanwhile we’re going to go home and watch Sesame Street’.
Chelsea will fear that a return to form is still some way away, as they take on table-topping Leicester City at the King Power Stadium on December 14, with Mourinho, puppet and all, facing an uncertain future should results continue to disappoint. Indeed, it is thought that a bad midweek result against Porto in the Champions League could spell the end for the controversial manager.