New Study Finds Every Male Has Had A Trial For Barnet

A new study published today provides conclusive proof that every single male in the United Kingdom has – at sometime in his youth – gone for a trial at League 2 side Barnet.

The study, carried out by Middlesex University, asked 20,000 males across Great Britain if they’d ever gone to The Hive, or the club’s old home at Underhill, for a tryout, and every single reply bar one came back in the affirmative.

Professor Jane Metcalfe, who led the team, said: ‘I think everybody has claimed to know someone, or knows someone who knows someone, who has gone down to Barnet for a trial. We expected around seventy five percent of those questioned to say that yes, they had been, and would have made it but for their dodgy knees, so to get everyone saying they did is really quite something’.

As if to further prove her case, Metcalfe turned to her assistant, 23-year-old James Halshaw, who said: ‘It’s true. They asked me down when I was sixteen and would have offered me terms were it not for my busted ankles.

‘I could have been the next Jason Puncheon’, he added, ‘or, at the very least, this decade’s answer to Scott McGleish’.

Ironically, the one person who said that he hadn’t been for a trial was Bees icon Nicky Evans, who said instead that Barnet had been for a trial with him, but that they had come up short of his standards.