newcastle 6-2

Newcastle United fans are today coming to terms with a bizarre emotion known as ‘happiness’ after their team yesterday triumphed 6-2 at home to Norwich City.

The feeling, last thought to have been felt after the St. James’ Park side finished fifth in the Barclays Premier League in 2012, has caught most followers by surprise, especially as the team had shown little sign that they could break out of their malaise that nearly resulted in their relegation last season.

Season ticket holder Ben Redchurch said: ‘When the final whistle went, this strange sensation came over me. I was already to let out a mighty jeer, as I now traditionally do at the end of a game, when out came this great cheer. And I smiled. And my Dad next to me smiled. What is going on?’

Manager Steve McClaren seemed to be as surprised as anyone, telling reporters: ‘You do everything you can to prepare for a game; the tactics to try and keep the score respectable, the praying that we can string at least three passes together, even the post-match bollocking can be pre-prepared. But what happens when that all goes out the window, and you win? And win well at that?’

The 54-year-old added: ‘This might take a while to get over, we’ve got a lot of shocked lads in that dressing room.

One fan was spotted crying as he experienced satisfaction for the first time in three years, and members of the Toon Army will be hoping the Magpies can return to losing ways when they take on Sunderland in the Tyne-Wear derby next Sunday.