The Nigerian Football Federation have announced that Harry Redknapp has agreed to become the national team manager, and that the appointment will be confirmed once he has forwarded them his full bank details.
The 69-year-old is currently employed as manager of Jordan, but Redknapp has been keen to get out of his contract ever since he realised that he was to take charge of a Middle Eastern nation, as opposed to the controversial glamour model.
In an email, the president of the Federation, Amaju Pinnick, wrote: ‘My esteemed greetings to you. I am Amaju Pinnick, and I am writing to inform you that $10,000,000 has been bequeathed to you by the outgoing national team manager Sunday Oliseh.
‘Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as mere civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/or operating foreign accounts in our names’.
Redknapp told reporters: ‘It’s an amazing deal. I’ve been assured that I don’t even have to leave Sandbanks that often, and they’ll even get John Obi Mikel to get my shopping. All I have to do is send them my account number and sort code, and I’m a few million quid richer.
‘If only Rosie was here to see this. She was a lovely bitch’, the former Tottenham chief added, wiping away a tear before adding, ‘I’m so rich’.
Redknapp’s nephew, New York City FC star Frank Lampard, told the New York Post: ‘If I’ve told him once, I’ve told him a million times: sort your spam filters out. But he thinks I’m talking about a Monty Python joke, the silly fool. I don’t know, old people today’.
Redknapp is expected to be in charge by the time Nigeria’s African Cup of Nations qualifiers kick off in September.