Calais Sandro

Brazilian midfielder Sandro is to be sent back to his homeland after being caught trying to sneak back into the UK in the back of a lorry, French authorities have announced.

The Queens Park Rangers star, who was found to not be in possession of a valid work permit following his £10 million transfer from Tottenham Hotspur, was found hiding amongst boxes containing fridge-freezers during a spot check by French port security as the lorry was waiting to depart Calais.

A spokesman for the gendarmerie said: ‘At approximately 7.32 this morning, a random check of a lorry bound for Dover found three men of West African descent hiding amongst the shipment contained within the trailer. Also, the soccer player Sandro Raniere Guimarães Cordeiro was found, possessing an acoustic guitar and a thermos flask containing what he said was ground coffee beans. All four have been detained, and will be returned to their home nations immediately’.

Sandro has been quoted as saying: ‘What, you mean this isn’t Belo Horizonte?’

Whether Sandro will remain in Brazil is unclear, but it is believed that he may try to re-enter the UK by mailing himself to Loftus Road.