Raheem Sterling

Raheem Sterling has completed his controversial move from Liverpool to Manchester City, and has spoken at his delight of becoming the most expensive reserve player of all time.

The 20-year-old arrives at the Etihad Stadium on a £200,000 a week wage, making him easily the highest earning player ever to regularly grace a substitute’s bench.

Commenting on that bench, the £49 million man said: ‘When I first saw City’s plush seats, with their high-quality lining and both base and lumbar heating, I knew that one day I was destined to place my buttocks on them’.

When asked if he regretted the manner of his departure from Anfield, Sterling said: ‘Obviously, there are some things I said that were in the heat of the moment. But chances are that, given both City’s resources and the fact that they’re seemingly inherently averse to actually playing any of the English guys they buy, I could be back there on loan in the next year or two. Especially as Rodgers will almost certainly be gone by then’.

Liverpool are now expected to turn their attention to Christian Benteke, who is already trying to find the best way to permanently  sever any good feelings manager Tim Sherwood has towards him.