Posts Tagged ‘Aston Villa’

Rémi Garde, who has left Aston Villa after five months in charge, has spoken of his pride at being able to redefine the meaning of the word ‘hopeless’ in the short time he sat in the Villa Park hotseat.

Aston Villa manager Rémi Garde has sent his entire first team squad to a Birmingham Apple Store in order to get them fixed as they look to avoid relegation from the Premier League.

All twenty Premier League clubs have come together to issue a joint statement defending their decision to accompany a £30 cap on away match tickets with a minimum booking fee of £30.

Aston Villa fan Tom Franklin has been accused of being fiercely proud of the fact that the Duke of Cambridge also supports the Villa Park side, despite being a vocal and staunch anti-royalist.

Rémi Garde has admitted that he is already regretting taking on the Aston Villa manager’s job after watching his new side slump to a 3-1 away defeat to Tottenham Hotspur.

Mit Doowrehs, the man who has suddenly risen from nowhere to become the heavily favoured candidate for the Aston Villa hotseat, has said that he has never heard of previous incumbent Tim Sherwood.

Tim Sherwood has been sacked by Aston Villa, leaving behind a record of blaming his players for his own inadequacies more than any of his Villa Park predecessors.

New Liverpool signing Christian Benteke has insisted that he will not flop like Liverpool’s previous high-value signing Andy Carroll, saying that he intends to fail at Anfield more in the style of South African Sean Dundee, who lingered like a bad fart in the late 1990s.

Tim Sherwood has astounded journalists after performing an impromptu cover version of Joe Kinnear’s now-classic ‘You’re A Cunt’ press conference from 2008.