Posts Tagged ‘Chelsea’

Serial adulterer and all-round sex pest John Terry has spoken of his wishes to cuckold the players of whichever team he ends up playing for next season.

Chelsea have continued their efforts to clean up their image by appointing Antonio Conte, a man accused of being involved in a match-fixing scandal back in Italy, as the permanent replacement for José Mourinho, who departed Stamford Bridge earlier this season.

Representatives for Preston North End have revealed their shock at being invited to join American billionaire Charlie Stillitano’s proposed European Super League, and have said that they would welcome any move that would see them restored to world football’s top table.

With Chelsea announcing that captain John Terry will be leaving the club at the end of the season, The Ballcock looks back at the eighteen year career of the controversial centre back.

Chelsea interim manager Guus Hiddink has announced that scientists employed by owner Roman Abramovich have successfully tested a time machine that will enable them to travel back to 1992 and outbid Manchester United for Leeds United’s Eric Cantona.

With the January transfer window about to blow open, we look at who could be going where over the next few weeks

Jürgen Klopp has spoken of his belief that Liverpool are now primed to take Chelsea’s place as the premier joke club in England.

José Mourinho today admitted that his Chelsea team’s horrendous domestic campaign is merely one part of his obsession with all things related to the 1980s.

José Mourinho has revealed that he will only speak to the media via a sock puppet following Chelsea’s 1-0 defeat to AFC Bournemouth, a result that leaves the west Londoners languishing in fourteenth place in the Premier League table.

Diego Costa has launched a stinging attack on Chelsea boss José Mourinho after the Spanish striker was dropped for the Pensioner’s London derby away to Tottenham Hotspur.

Twitter wags are currently embroiled in a bitter fight as to how best to refer to Chelsea after they suffered the indignity of a seventh league defeat of the season.

The Football Association are still deciding which book exactly they are to throw at Chelsea and manager José Mourinho after the West London side brought the game further into disrepute during their 2-1 away loss to high-flying West Ham United.