Posts Tagged ‘Chelsea’

José Mourinho has decided to update his Curriculum Vitae after Chelsea posted a Twitter message giving the Portuguese manager a vote of confidence.

Chelsea manger José Mourinho has reacted to Arsenè Wenger’s complaints over the Stamford Bridge side’s controversy-laden 2-0 home victory by suggesting that they both take some time to think over things before hugging it out at a later date.

Chelsea manager José Mourinho’s desperate start to the new season continued this weekend, after reports emerged that the canteen staff at the club’s Cobham training ground had spoken of losing faith in the Portuguese boss’s methods following the side’s 3-1 away loss to Everton.

Replica Barcelona shirts bearing Pedro’s name and number have written a heart-felt open letter to the Spanish star pleading with him to stay at the Camp Nou, as they fear for their future should he depart.

This week featuring the Master of Magnanimity and friend of physiotherapists, Chelsea manager José Mourinho, and Sepp venting his feelings on FIFA being compared to the Mafia.

Eva Carneiro’s Chelsea career looks set to come to an end after manager José Mourinho refused to like her most recent Facebook status.

Chelsea are set to upset supporters after the latest plans for their redeveloped Stamford Bridge ground revealed that there would be 61,000 executive seats – a grand total of 100 per cent of the ground’s prospective capacity.

Arsène Wenger’s long-running feud with José Mourinho shows no sign of abating after the Arsenal manager used today’s press conference to claim that his Chelsea counterpart ‘smells like runny poo’.

José Mourinho has sparked fears for his well-being after using a press conference to reflect on happier times, and to wonder why his life has taken a sudden turn for the worse.

Arsenal have called in the services of singing sensation Taylor Swift as they look to convince Chelsea to part with goalkeeper Petr Čech.

Chelsea have returned from their disappointing tour of Australia with no players having been reported of taking part in spitroasts, racially abusing the local population, or punching DJs in the face.

For their effort, they were given a shiny ha’penny and a cup of Bovril to keep them warm on their long, cold nights dossing down in the doorways of the Broadway.