Posts Tagged ‘Liverpool’

Alberto Moreno’s frustrating season came to an undignified end over the weekend after the Liverpool full back found himself hopelessly out of position while trying to deposit a cheque at a Merseyside bank.

Representatives for Preston North End have revealed their shock at being invited to join American billionaire Charlie Stillitano’s proposed European Super League, and have said that they would welcome any move that would see them restored to world football’s top table.

Liverpool’s hopes of securing European football next season have thrown into doubt after striker Daniel Sturridge was diagnosed this morning with a broken heart, with medics speaking pessimistically of his chances of recovery.

Headline writers for Britain’s major news outlets have spoken of their struggles at coming up with plausible puns that can adequately convey the impact of Jürgen Klopp’s October arrival as manager of Liverpool.

With the January transfer window about to blow open, we look at who could be going where over the next few weeks

Liverpool’s Nathaniel Clyne is expected to be given a lengthy suspension after failing a spot Pepsi Challenge, it has been revealed.

Liverpool’s star players on the very best ways to scrump, and the choicest apples to pick

Jürgen Klopp has spoken of his belief that Liverpool are now primed to take Chelsea’s place as the premier joke club in England.

José Mourinho has revealed that he will only speak to the media via a sock puppet following Chelsea’s 1-0 defeat to AFC Bournemouth, a result that leaves the west Londoners languishing in fourteenth place in the Premier League table.

Tottenham Hotspur head coach Mauricio Pochettino’s post-match press conference yesterday descended into a quote-off of lines from cult US sitcom ‘Arrested Development’, with the boss and journalists attempting to out-do each other when it came to knowledge of the much-loved show.

With Brendan Rodgers’ seat still bearing the arseprints of the departed North Irishman, rumours are already rife that Jürgen Klopp is set to take over at Liverpool before the week is out. However, the talented German will have his work cut out to restore pride and glory to the corridors of Anfield, and The Ballcock has identified the ten most important things he must do to make sure the good times return as quickly as possible.

Everton fans are today celebrating another landmark in the club’s illustrious history as Liverpool’s sacking of manager Brendan Rodgers ensured the Goodison Park side could boast the moral high ground in Merseyside for the fourteenth straight year.