Posts Tagged ‘Premier League’

Swansea City, now well into a second season as the only Welsh club in the Premier League, have signed up to online dating app Tinder in order to find company and engage in casual, late night sex in the South Wales area.

The Premier League has officially unveiled its Fourth Place Trophy, following years of campaigning to have it introduced by Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger.

Ander Herrera has been banished by Louis van Gaal to Manchester United’s Under-21 squad after daring to express a modicum of creative ability during the Red Devil’s most recent training session.

Rémi Garde has admitted that he is already regretting taking on the Aston Villa manager’s job after watching his new side slump to a 3-1 away defeat to Tottenham Hotspur.

Newcastle United fans are today coming to terms with a bizarre emotion known as ‘happiness’ after their team yesterday triumphed 6-2 at home to Norwich City.

Chelsea manger José Mourinho has reacted to Arsenè Wenger’s complaints over the Stamford Bridge side’s controversy-laden 2-0 home victory by suggesting that they both take some time to think over things before hugging it out at a later date.

Chelsea manager José Mourinho’s desperate start to the new season continued this weekend, after reports emerged that the canteen staff at the club’s Cobham training ground had spoken of losing faith in the Portuguese boss’s methods following the side’s 3-1 away loss to Everton.

Stoke City have declared their intention to remain in Singapore beyond pre-season after finally finding a country that loves them for who they are.

Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers has launched a scathing attack on the Premier League after his side were handed the kind of tough start that will result in his inevitable firing from the Anfield giants.

Newly-promoted Watford are facing a daunting opening day trip to Real Oviedo, after the fixture computer at Premier League H.Q. went into meltdown this morning.

Queens Park Rangers have started to count the true cost of relegation from the Barclays Premier League today, after a member of the backroom staff realised that their Loftus Road home would not be featured in FIFA 16.

Richard Scudamore, who thought he was the CEO of the richest football league in the world, has been woken from his slumber to discover that the ‘Barclays Premier League’ was just part of a dream he was having.