The organisers of Qatar’s 2022 World Cup have insisted that the estimated 1,200 migrant workers said to have died during construction of stadiums in the Emirate are in fact simply resting up in preparation for a big building push over the next two years.
FIFA’s delegates are today celebrating the unprecedented achievement of going an entire month without a single incident of note taking place by awarding themselves $10,000 each, as well as taking their pick from the 2015 range of Mercedes-Benz executive saloons.
Builders merchants Jewson have announced that they are prepared to host the 2018 World Cup in their lumber yards should Russia be stripped of hosting rights.
‘Only 0.27% of the workers will die. That’s hardly anything! Come on, it’s not exactly the Trail of Tears is it?’
FIFA have announced that tickets for all matches will be given away as free prizes in both boxes of Kellogg’s Corn Flakes and McDonald’s Happy Meals.
The Football Association has been expelled from the FIFA Family after being caught smoking behind the bicycle sheds of the Federation’s Zurich base.