Serial adulterer and all-round sex pest John Terry has spoken of his wishes to cuckold the players of whichever team he ends up playing for next season.
Swansea City, now well into a second season as the only Welsh club in the Premier League, have signed up to online dating app Tinder in order to find company and engage in casual, late night sex in the South Wales area.
Self-confessed football hipster Clarence Odenkirk’s presentation of his complete collection of Panini Football albums from the 1980s to Gillian Andrews resulted in ‘mild, healf-hearted fumbling’, he reported today.
Brazilian defender Lúcio has asked to be released from his contract with Indian Super League side FC Goa after the Indian government announced a clampdown on a vast number of pornographic websites.
Footballers throughout England have been quick to scoff at the video showing House of Lords deputy speaker Lord Sewel snorting cocaine with prostitutes.
I have been cursed with a terrible affliction, and it’s one that is threatening to completely envelop me and take over my life. I am sexually aroused by goalmouth scrambles.