Posts Tagged ‘Tottenham Hotspur’

Tottenham Hotspur manager Mauricio Pochettino has drunkenly boasted of Harry Kane’s potential to become the best striker in world football, as the North London club prepare to take on Real Madrid, AC Milan and hosts Bayern Munich in the pre-season Audi Cup.

Tottenham Hotspur have signalled their intention to finally rid Emmanuel Adebayor from their wage bill by fly-tipping him outside their White Hart Lane ground, with a sign around his neck saying: ‘Please Feel Free To Take’.

Tottenham Hotspur star Ryan Mason has discovered much to his surprise that his club’s badge bears an uncanny resemblance to an intricate speed nob.

Senior officials at Arsenal are locked in discussions about whether or not to add the club’s recent Barclays Asia Trophy success to the list of honours displayed on their website.

Sources at Tottenham Hotspur have said that the club are planning on freezing unwanted striker Emmanuel Adebayor in carbonite until a suitable buyer can be found to take him off their hands.

Southampton fan Mark Carmichael has spoken of his regret in getting Toby Alderweireld’s name tattooed on his left arm just days before the on-loan defender decided instead to join Tottenham Hotspur.

Guangzhou Evergrande have asked Tottenham Hotspur to refund them for the purchase of Paulinho after chairman Kang Bing watched a YouTube clip of the Brazilian’s performances over the 2014/15 season.

The streets of North London are today awash with joyous Tottenham Hotspur fans after midfielder Paulinho completed his £10 million move to Chinese giants Guangzhou Evergrande.

Featuring player-hungry Manchester United, saintly Harry Kane, car-botherer Arturo Vidal and more

Tottenham Hotspur have once more fallen victim to a Real Madrid transfer assault, after the Spanish giants announced the signing of mascot Chirpy for an undisclosed fee.

‘Hi fellow Gooners. Here’s my handy guide to the festering world of shit’.

Tottenham Hotspur chairman Daniel Levy is prepared to offer potential suitors a free handjob as a ‘sweetener’ in any potential naming rights deal for the club’s new stadium, it has been revealed.