'There's A Bomb In The Stadium', Exclaims Martin Tyler, 'AND IT'S LIVE!'

Incredulity spread through Old Trafford on the final day of the season, after a fake bomb left behind during a terrorist training exercise caused the Red Devils’ home game against AFC Bournemouth to be abandoned.

However, Sky Sports commentator Martin Tyler was determined for this extraordinary season not to be ruined by a mere bomb threat, desperately shoe-horning his usual bombastic pre-match comments into a link conducted outside the home of the northern giants.

Replying to presenter Ed Chamberlin’s question about any precedents in football history, the veteran said: ‘It’s just remarkable. Just when you think we’ve had it all this season, another explosive record is broken’.

Tyler continued: ‘You don’t get drama like this in La Liga. Certainly not in the Bundesliga, which doesn’t even exist as far as we’re concerned. The Premier League truly is the best in the world’.

When asked if and when fans and officials would be allowed back inside the Theatre of Dreams, the 70-year-old replied: ‘That’s for the Police to decide. Right now, there’s a bomb in the stadium… AND IT’S LIVE!’

The game has been rescheduled for May 17, with United knowing that they now have no chance of being humiliated in the Champions League next season.