adebayor carbonite

Sources at Tottenham Hotspur have said that the club are planning on freezing unwanted striker Emmanuel Adebayor in carbonite until a suitable buyer can be found to take him off their hands.

There are however believed to be a number of stumbling blocks to this plan: firstly, it is thought that the Togo international would be unwilling to be frozen in such a manner, especially as no one seems to be willing to match either Tottenham’s valuation, or would be prepared to pay the profligate star at least £100,000 in weekly wages. Then there is the small matter that carbonite is a metal alloy found only in a fantasy universe that is home to the sci-fi epic ‘Star Wars’.

A member of the Spurs board, who wished to remain anonymous, said: ‘It seemed like quite a sound plan, but clearly there are certain logistical barriers that need to be overcome. Nonetheless, the idea of sending Emmanuel into some kind of stasis where he is neither dead nor alive is very, very appealing to all of us, so we’ll keep going. Unless someone is mad enough to come in for him of course, but that’s never going to happen’.

Current Head Coach Mauricio Pochettino is the third Spurs boss to have deemed Adebayor, who was last season voted ‘Worst Professional’ ahead of teammates Younes Kaboul and Étienne Capoue by fellow members of the PFA, surplus to requirements at White Hart Lane.