hull tigers

BY ASSEM ALLAM, HULL CITY CHAIRMAN

The time is finally upon us. This weekend, the FA Council will make their decision on my not-entirely-unreasonable appeal to change the name of my football club from Hull City AFC to Hull Tigers. Since I first announced my intention of rebranding the club, I have been met with nothing but hostility and anger from the supporters. But let me ask you this: would you be so uppity if I were to call us the Hull Fucking Tigers? I think not!

Anyway, is such a trifling thing as a name really such a thing to get hot under the collar about? I don’t see anyone getting so emotional whenever Yorkshire’s cricketing powers give their Twenty20 side a new nickname. There were no massed protests when Newton Heath changed their name to Manchester United. Chill the fuck out guys. You’re still watching a Premier League team. What do you mean, relegated? Well, that’s the next thing to get rid of then.

In this congested world of professional sport, there are so many city’s. There’s Manchester, of course, and York, and even Salisbury. But there would be only one Tigers. Apart from Leicester’s rugby team. And Castleford’s. And Detroit. Okay, so there’s actually fifty-odd, if you also include Tigres. But that’s not the point. Clearly, calling yourself Tigers changes you from being a provincial, small-time team into a global powerhouse. Just ask the Hobart Tigers the difference it’s made.

So, to the powers that be at the Football Association, please look past the angry words of a few irate supporters and think of the long term benefits to my wallet. My wallet being Hull’s wallet, you understand. Or do you want a mauling? See what I did there…